Note: The scale used in this list is obviously not your run-of-the-mill, standard girl scale – it is a separate scale where superhotfucking women are judged against each other. This may help clear up any perceived low-ratings we may have given. Moreover, we will not be giving an extensive commentary on this list, as the pictures and the numbers should give more than adequate justification. Anyway, if you’d rather read the commentary than look at the pics, you probably need to check if you like taking it up the ass.

Also, if you find yourself having uncontrollable fits of rage because you disagree with this list, why not tell us so: manly@fuckingmanly.com. Maybe we’ll take that into consideration next time. Maybe.

(click on images to make them larger)

11. Jessica Alba – 83.5

Face: 78
Boobs: 80
Ass: 87
Legs: 89
Overall: 83.5

10. Gemma Atkinson – 84.25

Face: 78
Boobs: 95
Ass: 84
Legs: 80
Overall: 84.25

9. Old School J-Lo – 86.5

Face: 82
Boobs: 79
Ass: 96
Legs: 89
Overall: 86.5

8. Elisha Cuthbert – 86.5

Face: 94
Boobs: 79
Ass: 86
Legs: 87
Overall: 86.5

7. Scarlett Johansson – 86.75

We had to include her because of her rack.

Face: 76
Boobs: 97
Ass: 89
Legs: 85
Overall: 86.75

6. Cheryl Tweedy – 87.25

We refuse to acknowledge that she has been in, or is in a relationship with Ashley Cole.

Face: 92
Boobs: 82
Ass: 84
Legs: 91
Overall: 87.25

5. Keeley Hazel – 87.25

Face: 88
Boobs: 95
Ass: 84
Legs: 82
Overall: 87.25

4. Adriana Lima – 88.5

Face: 95
Boobs: 82
Ass: 89
Legs: 88
Overall: 88.5

3. Kelly Brook

Face: 92
Boobs: 94
Ass: 85
Legs: 87
Overall: 89.5

2. Megan Fox – 91.5

Face: 98
Boobs: 85
Ass: 92
Legs: 91
Overall: 91.5

1. Samuel L Jackson

Samuel L. Jackson is not a bitch. So don’t try and fuck him like a bitch. He is, on the other hand, a badass mothafucka. For this reason, he will receive the number 1 spot on every Top 11 List on this site.